When I arrived at work, the first thing I did was yet again bail out the ungrateful and disrespectful CEO. And so the car started to ascend the tracks of the hill.
[Please note here that I love my job. I would stay here and continue to work as long as they would have me except I no longer respect or believe in the CEO and when you work for less than you're worth, put in more hours than are in a calendar day, and have sacrificed more than is humanly known to me or them that means you have to leave.]
Any way, my years of experience clicked in and I organized a major event for her and our organization in less than thirty minutes. I thought of almost everything from email notifications to confetti to duct tape. If I had not done it, she would have been embarassed and it could have had lasting PUBLIC repercussions through which I fear she would have lived and found a scapegoat~ probably me. Instead, I am the known heroine of the day. Oh, she nor the COO may admit it because to do so would cause them to admit so much more than just what is going to happen Thursday, but that is okay. I know and I know they know.
After that, I had a couple of uneventful meetings. I thought the coaster car was going to stall. I then sat back at my desk to read two emails: one, based a lot on my expertise...
[I have been beating myself up a lot lately because, in part due to external criticism, I am in the same job as I was 7 years ago and my work ethic is almost non-existent, but I am coming to believe that while I create and sabotage solely at my doing, I do need some sort of exterior recognition for my more-than-mortal attempts at keeping a program alive that by any one who even looks in for one minute, steps back and say, "how the hell do you do all of that?"
That being said, I feel the need to be a little braggy lately.]
... the University of Michigan has been asked to submit a proposal for research funding (*yay*); two, an abstract of which I am the co-author was selected to be presented at an international conference in July. The abstract highlights a component in a program I co-designed.
I then got to display some mad skills to interns that I thought long ago rusted.
Before the outing with the interns, I called the significant other to brag about my day. He congratulated me, but then felt the need to "match" my good news with word that he was buying two bikes off of ebay for him and his daughter. He was genuinely happy for me. I know that. This will be a problem for us as we move along our path together: I have the potential for more public successes than he. This is mainly because I want public success and because I believe I am capable of it. He does not like himself as much as I like myself or even as much as I like him. When I talked to him later in the evening, he again congratulated me as well as when he tried to get out of hanging out Wednesday night (we're spending the holiday weekend together), I reminded him that I deserved "congratulations sex." He agreed. [As long as I am direct with my needs and considerate of his, I think we will find the balance between my wanting to be a big fish in a moderately sized pond and his wanting to be the clown fish in a small, intimate but gorgeous pond.]
Those were the clicks of the roller coaster car climbing that giant hill of my happy day. The car arched the hump and then started to decline...
I was told by Michigan's Cesar Milan (his description, but others agree) that my dog is the meanest dog with whom he has ever worked. I can not believe it is true, but still to hear it was difficult. He did finally relent and say that my dog is also smart and is adopting his new behaviors quickly. This was not said without my hearing that still my dog does not like authority. Who does?
[Look at him. Does he seem like he could be meaner than pit bulls who were forced to fight????]
I have a friend who just won a battle with her ex over in their seven year custody war, but she continues to lose sight that she may be losing the war with her child as she continues to make short-sided and selfish decisions. This saddens me. I have spoken up at the risk of losing our friendship, but she doesn't hear me. I have to ask myself now how much longer can I respect her and like her as a person, much less as my friend.
I am a reformed nail biter. My nails, however, either are permanently damaged from years of biting or just genetically weak. During my late 20s through my mid-30s I got acrylic nails. Last year, due to money and depression, I took of the acrylics and swore that I would live a healthier life and stop putting toxins on my nails. It took a year and pharmacist recommended Biotin, but my nails finally were taking shape and growing, but they grow for six weeks or so then break all to hell. This happened today. I know this is frivolous, but I wear lots and lots of rings and ugly nails take away my joy at looking at my hands.
I still have two reports I have to do before I go home... and yet, I am writing this.
I am on vacation starting Thursday. I looked at the weather and it is supposed to rain starting Monday and all that week. Sure, you say that I will have Thursday through Sunday but I will be in a car Friday and Sunday and in the interim in another state.
Okay so as you can see, the down hill turned out not to be so bad and did not overshadow the joy of the climb of my self-worth from earlier in the day.
I just have to make sure that the up swing of the day carries me to do what I need to do during my vacation and get things done so I can make sure my roller coaster always has only small down hills.
Until the next ride...
No comments:
Post a Comment